We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
