Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
