dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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