My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
