So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
