If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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