my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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