dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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