just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Come see our sink grown plant.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
