Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
