Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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