i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize