so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
