I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
