I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
