I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
