is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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