Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
