I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
