She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
