I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
