Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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