I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
