I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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