I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
