Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
