**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
