I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
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i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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