I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
