It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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