I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize