Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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