Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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