So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
