i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
