the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
