His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
