She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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