I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize