If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
