i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize