so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
