he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
