Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
