big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
