The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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