If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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