I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
