the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
