I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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