Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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