He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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