I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize