wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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