im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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