sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I will die if light touches me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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