It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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