new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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