Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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