That's intense
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
