Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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