I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
