He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
