Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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