how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
