guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
