This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize